I’m Freakin’ Awesome!!!!

I'm Freakin' Awesome!!!!

When you’re at a talent show and you bust out your moves, people are cheering. And then the cool guy with shades comes on…

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I believe in pi…

I believe in pink.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner
I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to go wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day.
And I believe in miracles.
-Audrey Hepburn

The Zombie Epidemic

The Zombie Epedemic

It’s true that zombies are probably now a great American tradition. You can never not make them eat human flesh and you can never get rid of that itch to make a book, movie, etc. about them.

Sure, you might sit on your couch, eat popcorn, and say that you could totally beat the sluggish (or dumb zombies from World War Z that aren’t supposed to run but I’ll get to that later), moaning zombies. But, the truth is, if you are sitting on your couch and eating popcorn, then I guess you won’t be noticing the zombie in your backyard.

This post isn’t about survival, it’s about what’s wrong with it:

  1. High blood pressure. (Courtesy of Angry Nerd A.K.A Chris Baker)
    Thank you Angry Nerd. But it’s true, someone dead should have incredibly low blood pressure but they don’t. A shot to the head sends brain juice flying everywhere.
  2. Shotguns.
    Yes, it is very true that people think shotguns are useful in the zombie virus. If we’re talking Solanum here, then Max Brooks says it’s true. But what about any other zombie? If they can hear, then they can totally hear the shotgun noise when you pull the trigger.
  3. The zombies from World War Z The Movie don’t run.
    If in Max Brook’s World War Z The Book is based off the Zombie Survival Guide (or vice versa) then the zombies in the movie shouldn’t be able to run which they do a lot in the movie.
  4. The main character always does something important.
    Why are the main characters always someone who does something important for the apocalypse. Why don’t we see someone that’s not special at all. Sure, in the end they won’t be safe (unless they get on a helicopter and they find out that someone found the cure for the virus), but at least we see how someone survives and they don’t do anything for the apocalypse. Except for cutting off a couple of zombie heads.
  5. The black guy dies first.
    Everyone knows it.

Now, I need to think about how zombie apocalypse movies are bad. But I can’t think about anything else.
                                                                                 -Therese

Five Things Wrong With Star Wars

Five Things Wrong With Star Wars

Yes, fans. There is something wrong with the entire Star Wars universe (other than the whole TV series which is wrong in and of itself). And hopefully J.J. Abrams will totally clear up with a wormhole and Red Matter and Leonard Nimoy.

  1. The planets.
    The thing is: If all of them are humans, how is it possible to breath. I can see aliens. But what about Luke, Obi-Wan, Nick Fury-I mean, Mace Windu. If all of them are human I don’t see any elaborate thing they have in their heads like in Star Trek, and I don’t see the space suits.
  2. Apparently in a galaxy far, far away.
    Yes, but once again this is about the humans. Where do they come from? Were they born on Earth 2.0 made by mice and Bill Nighy? Nope. Apparently most of them are either born or raised on Tatooine.
  3. How C-3PO can still stay shiny after walking around in dirt and sand in Star Wars movie six.
    Yes, he’s shiny. Due to all the times Lucasfilm made him all shiny and golden between takes. Come on! If R2-D2 and his shiny pal walked through a sandstorm they would both be as dirty as a pile of shi-at.
  4. Darth Vader died and Leia isn’t mourning?
    Sure, her dad was an evil criminal mastermind, like the Joker. But she didn’t even attend his burning ritual. Everyone attended Qui-Gon’s burning. But only Luke was there when his dad died. Shooting for the favorite kid, eh, Luke?
  5. Star Wars, The Phantom Menace.
    Now, this is podracing. *Shudders* Where did Lucasfilm go completely wrong with Star Wars? By making a CGI TV show and Phantom Menace. Kill me. How Obi-Wan could deal with young Anakin is beyond me. You are strong, dude. But, seriously, as HISHE can say (even though they haven’t released their Phantom Menace How It Should Have Ended,) that the reason they are in the process of making the PHHISHE is that there’s not just one thing wrong with that movie, there are enough to make a video about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m in a happy mood today. I had orange bread for breakfast, I just watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, cheery bars and panchetta-wrapped porkloin are on the menu for tonight.

So I’ll just cut to the chase of this post: do you know how many turkeys are devoured on Thanksgiving?

I’m not about to be doing a rant on Thanksgiving, but 46-million turkeys are sold and consumed. Sure, turkeys are like pigs, they’re animals, too. But did you know that information?

So, now you know.

I’m going to be having these things this year for Thanksgiving, comment below and tell me what you’re having.

  • cranberry relish
  • rolls
  • panchetta-wrapped porkloin
  • yams
  • pumpkin pie
  • fruit cake
  • cherry bars

 

Agatha Christie, My Favorite Mystery Books

Agatha Christie, My Favorite Mystery Books

Agatha Christie is my favorite mystery writer. She makes amazing plots that just baffle you. This is a list of my favorite Agatha Christie books:

1. And Then There Were None

For some people this may seem creepy, so for the skittish people, don’t read this! This was my all-time favorite Agatha Christie because at the end there was the explanation to the thing that was completely amazing. It was so outlandish, yet possible. That’s what made the story.

2. The Mysterious Affair At Styles

Yes, the mysterious affair at Styles. Featuring lovable Hercule Poirot that really is sort of like Sherlock Holmes except for the whole I-figure-out-what-you’re-like thing.  Sure, it ended up with someone dying. But crime books are never the same without a little blood. (And the victim wasn’t killed in this really grisly way.)

3. The Murder At The Vicarage

Yes. Though this person that was murdered was very up-popular, Miss Jane Marple’s debut novel was a perfect blend of mystery and Good-Lord-I-should-have-guessed-that sequences. It, personally, took me a long time to finish it. This has been actually my third Agatha Christie this year. And even if I’ve only read four in toto, I’ve loved every single one of them.
-Therese