So, after a brief soiree with writer’s block I have finally managed to sit down barf some words out. This is going to be a rant because I’m in the mood for complaining because I’ve read Some Offense Intended (http://someoffenseintended.wordpress.com/) and I just feel like coming out and saying this.
Why must Lady Gaga be so stupid?
Yesterday my brother was at the last year for his Science Fair thinga-ma-jig and guess what we had to listen to? Lady Gaga.
We were praying for a 30-second ad to prolong us from having to watch crap. Thankfully we didn’t have to watch both the songs because they were both uneven (we were so giddy).
But it still begs the question: Why do people like these songs?
I mean, what are they about again? Something about Poker Faces (I actually like playing Poker with Monopoly money so I really hated this song) and dancing? Well, both those songs were a ton of Bull-feces.
The lyrics were unbearable, the singing was shitty and I don’t even know why I even stayed in the basement when it was playing.
So, the court of Sweet Feet chooses the verdict with the head chairman YoungBlogger02: LADY GAGA IS A POX UPON HUMANITY!!! I HATE HER FREAKIN’ MUSIC SO D*MN MUCH!!! The chair has spoken.
Signed, sealed and done, YoungBlogger02
As tomorrow marks the two-month anniversary of my blog, I’d like to start with a celebration…. And this means a speech written in third-person.
YoungBlogger02 sat down at the laptop, her fingers aimed at the keys. She looked down at the eight subscribers she had and continued to write her short speech.
“Tomorrow marks the bi-monthly anniversary of this glorious blog known as Sweet Feet (My feet aren’t actually sweet.) where I have held great pride when posting.
I have changed my blog’s title twice in hopes of getting more followers (on Wattpad, I have 49) but there is one that I have finally stuck with: Sweet Feet.
I know that some of my posts are long and some of my posts are shorter than you’d like but they still are all near and dear to my heart. And I hope you all know that I mostly just post on Mom’s laptop.”
She bowed as the audience clapped, her head filled with emotions. Well, if you can count snark as an emotion. She couldn’t wait to unleash that the next day.
Now, when I started planning this blog I had a metal mouth. (Below.)
It looks ghastly, doesn’t it? I think it does.
But when I finally made it, I already had a retainer and an acute obsession for owls. But what I could tell, I was going to be an amazing blogger. I was going to be a WordPress Champion. Sure, that hasn’t happened yet but it will in the future.
-Sincerely, your snarky blogger, Therese AKA YoungAuthor02
Three words: Lets. Dig. In.
“Let’s see here: 1023 packs of Keebler, twelve ounces of eggnog, and chocolate- covered Betty Crocker cookies”
The weird pumpkin behind the owls is like, “I’m going to get you next, my pretties, just you wait,” And the Ghost one is just like “Ooh, cookies!”
Today I gather my one or two readers to read about my next Dreaded episode. Spellcheck.
Oh, I’d like to roast it on an open fire. There are so many things wrong with it.
5. You Want To Have It
Oh, my God, you don’t have spellcheck so you have to manually read your boring chapter where you know what’s going to happen. I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!
4. You Don’t Want To Have It
Like me, I don’t want spellcheck. I make up names and last names that are perfectly fine (like my last name) and it says I haven’t spelled it correctly. I mean, they’re saying that I’m not spelling ‘it’ correctly. WHAT THE H*LL!!!! I SPELLED ‘IT’ CORRECTLY!!!! IT’S ONLY TOW LETTERS I-T. SEE!!!!!!!!!! I CAN SPELL IT. (The same with ‘Want’ down there.)
3. When It Gives You Suggestions That You Don’t Want
What?!?!?!!?! I’m saying Robert, not Rupert. I’m saying plane not plain. I’m saying rock not Rick. STOP!!!! SIRI, I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO HELP US!!! WE DON’T CARE!!! AND MY MOTHER’S NOT JEWISH!!!!
2. You’re Writing Something Really Good On Wattpad and Then Spell-Check Says I ‘Like’ You Instead of Love.
Gee, Siri, way to ruin my character’s beautiful moment.
1. Writing In A Different Language
Well, Siri, I’m sorry I’m not about to switch your language to Dutch so that I can spell Edme right.
-Sincerely, your Blogger, Therese AKA YoungBlogger02